(***SMOOOOCH*** An unknown woman kisses the screen, leaving lipstick marks which soon transform into a glowing red UWA logo, which remains on screen for a few moments before fading into blackness.

“IT’S THE CHAMPIONSHIP RING FINALE”!

RS: The race to the Universal Women’s Title comes to a head right here tonight on CHIX with the final round of Championship Ring matches before determining who will do challenge Sherry Bop in one week’s time at On Deadly Ground!  The action heated up last night on the Friday Night Slam as:

Nattie Neidhart did battle with Shyanne in Championship Ring action!

Francine: Fresh off of a controversial submission loss to “Deadly Candy” Alyssa Sanders from this past In High Gear, Nattie came in with something to prove, and she made her mark by forcing the former Women’s Champion to submit to her Sharpshooter, earning 5 points in the process!

RS: Then:

Deadly Candy herself did battle with Cheerleader Melissa!

Francine: Melissa has been the breakout star of the tournament, and came into this match tied with Mercedes Martinez for the first place spot!  But you can’t underestimate the skill of Alyssa Sanders!

RS: Alyssa managed to outmaneuver the Lost One, earning a pinfall victory and 3 points to pull her into the second place spot! 

But all eyes were on the second battle between Mercedes Martinez and Darkest Desires!

RS: Once the odds-on-favorite to walk away with it all, Desires was still smarting from an arm injury she received in a submission loss to Mercedes one week earlier on the Slam!

Francine:  Desires came into this match vowing that she would not submit!

RS:  But her efforts seemed futile as she once again found herself trapped in Mercedes’ cross armbreaker submission.  Mercedes seemed poised to gain a submission victory and pull away from the pack with an additional 5 points…BUT NO!!! 

Francine: The Prowl interfered, causing the disqualification before Desires could tap out!  Not only did Desires deny Mercedes the satisfaction of submitting her twice, but in causing the DQ, she relegated Mercedes to only a 1 point gain, keeping the Championship Ring crown still in her reach!

Scoreboard: Mercedes: 11; Alyssa: 10; Melissa: 9; Desires: 9; Nattie: 9; Shyanne: 4

RS: So as we move into the final round of the Championship Ring, it’s still anybody’s ballgame!  Mercedes remains in the lead with 11 points, but Alyssa Sanders—her opponent for the night—is right on her heels with 10!  After her, we have a 3-way tie, with Melissa, Desires and Nattie Neidhart all holding 9 points headed into the night!  And tonight, just one week away On Deadly Ground, it’s do or die, ladies and gentlemen!  Who will win the 2007 Championship Ring?!  We’ll find out…NOW!

 (The CHIX opening video plays, set the tune of Yummy Bingham’s “Come Get It.” We then cut to the arena, where fans are cheering and holding up signs as pink and purple fireworks explode near the entrance set.  When the fireworks stop, the camera pans the crowd, picking up signs such as “REPEAT: Latin Mercenary,” “Superwoman,” and “Black Kat’s Biggest Fan.”  The cameras then cut down to ringside, where Rosie Sanchez and Francine are seated.)

RS: The Grand Finale is upon us, as right here tonight we crown the winner of the 2007 Women’s Championship Ring!  Welcome to CHIX!  Rosie Sanchez here alongside Francine, and let’s not waste anymore time!  Are you ready for action Francine?! 

Francine: Damn right I am!  Let’s get this party started!

Championship Ring: Cheerleader Melissa vs. Nattie Neidhart

(“Going Under” by Evanesence hits the PA system as the arena lights drop and green and white spotlights flash on the entrance.  The crowd boos as Natasha Bryant appears alongside the stone-faced Cheerleader Melissa, who’s wearing a long black cloak.  Both women gaze into the crowd, taking in their reaction.  Suddenly…

***GOOO-ING UN-DEEEEERRRRRR!!!***

…Melissa tosses her cloak and starts down the ramp with determination!

Announcer: The following Championship Ring Match is Scheduled for one fall and has a 15-minute time limit.  Introducing first, accompanied to the ring by Natasha Bryant, hailing from Nashville, TN, weighing in at 142 pounds: CHEERLEADER MELISSA!!!

RS: Cheerleader Melissa…as you mentioned, Francine, has been the breakout star of this Championship Ring!  Since earning a stoppage victory—albeit a controversial one—over Mercedes Martinez a few weeks back, Melissa has been on a roll, defeating not only her archrival Shyanne, but also “Deadly Candy” Alyssa Sanders…in addition to her opponent here tonight!

Francine: And she may have lost last night, Rosie, but remember she’s still very much in this thing! Melissa can still pull this thing out! 

RS: Yes!  But to do so, she’s gotta get by a very determined Nattie!

(Now in the ring, Melissa is now pacing back and forth as Natasha looks on from the floor.  Suddenly, “Nattie By Nature” hits the PA system, causing the crowd to cheer.  Cameras cut back to the entrance, now illuminated by pink spotlights, as Nattie emerges from the locker room in her pink and black wrestling attire.)

Announcer: Her opponent, from Calgary, Alberta, Canada, weighing in at 135 pounds: NATTIEEEEEE NEEEIDHAAAART!!!

RS: Nattie…we’ve often mentioned her heritage!  Daughter of the great Jim “The Anvil” Neidhart, niece of Bret “Hitman” Hart!  Gold is in her blood, Francine!

Francine: Yeah, and while at first glance that doesn’t sound very healthy, the fact remains that she’s had a great showing in this Championship Ring too, and with her expertise in submission moves, she’s a very dangerous competitor here…this being the last night of the Championship Ring!

RS: And again, let me remind you the rules of the game: Pinfalls are worth 3 points for the winning competitor, Submissions 5, DQ’s and Count outs are worth 1 point!

(Now in the ring, Nattie flashes a smile Melissa’s way as the lights return to normal.  She turns to hand her ring jacket to an attendant when suddenly…Melissa rushes her from behind)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

RS: OH WAIT!!!  Melissa tried to attack from behind but Nattie saw her coming!  Nattie with Melissa in the buckle, and look at her hammer away with right hands! 

Francine: Melissa…say what you will about her tactics, but she’s got the right idea!  With a 15 minute time limit, you can’t waste any time!

RS: OH!  Snap suplex by Nattie!  Cover…Nattie having trouble getting the shoulders down!  Nattie now…with Melissa on her feet—

Francine: Nattie by Nature!!! She’s going for Nattie by Nature…OH!

RS:  Back drop by Melissa counters the move!  Nattie now…back to her feet…Melissa off the rope—OH!  Dropkick sends Nattie out to the floor…and that’s dangerous ladies and gentlemen!  You see Natasha Bryant on the outside…we’ve seen time and time again in this thing that she has no qualms about interfering on her partner’s behalf!

Francine: Oh stop it, Rosie!  She’s just out here to offer moral support, like any good manager would do!

RS:  She’s getting ever so close to Nattie, and Nattie beginning to feel a little uneasy on the outside!

Francine:  Don’t worry about her, Neidhart; keep your mind on your opponent…see—

RS:  OH!  Baseball slide attempt caught by Nattie!  Nattie now…pulling Melissa from the apron down to the floor…OH WAIT A MINUTE!

Francine:  SHE’S GOING FOR THE SHARPSHOOTER!! THE SHARPSHOOTER!

RS: This crowd making some noise…Nattie trying to lock it on—OH NO!!!  Melissa…she just booted Nattie into the post…her head and back hitting hard!

Francine:  I love it, Rosie!  I love it!

RS: Nattie…slumping against that post…she’s hurt Francine!

Francine: And that’s big!  That’s a huge injury to occur this early in the match!

RS:  Not  sure how injured she is, but we’re gonna find out here!  Melissa with Nattie here…RETURNS THE FAVOR WITH A SNAP SUPLEX!!!

Francine:  On the arena floor!

RS: Nattie wincing in pain…as Melissa has her again!  What’s she doing here?  Melissa…Melissa with Nattie—

*CRASH*

RS: OH!

Francine: OH MY GOD!

(The crowd chants “Holy Shit” in the background as we focus on a shot of Nattie lying up against the guardrail, her face twisted by pain.)

RS: Melissa with a back suplex…a damn back suplex on the guardrail!  What the hell was that?!

Francine:  Well…it’s called trying to win Rosie!  Can’t fault her for that!

RS: Winning is one thing but…c’mon!

Francine:  Hey!  Remember: whoever comes out on top here tonight has a guaranteed Championship match in her future!  This isn’t any time to be tip-toeing around!  I used to tell my Enterprise that if you want the gold, you’ve gotta reach out and take it, and Melissa may have just taken her first step to doing that right here!  And look at her now…noticed she just broke the count!  She’s not settling for the count out!

RS: Melissa back on the floor with the injured Nattie…look at Nattie!  From her knees trying to throw right hands—BUT SHE CATCHES A BOOT TO THE HEAD!  Nattie…Melissa into the crowd and…look at this!  Melissa with Nattie bent across that guardrail…just stretching her!

Francine: HAHA!  And check out the words of inspiration from Natasha! She’s so damn motivational, Rosie!

RS:  Yeah, please!  Jim Molineux out to the floor to break that situation up!  That was not a legal move!  Melissa now…with Nattie once again…now rolling her into the ring! 

Francine:  HAHA!  And here it comes Rosie!  You ready for the end?

RS:  It may unfortunately be coming soon as Melissa…in the ring with Nattie!  Melissa with the legs…could be that elevated crab coming up…

Francine: And with the damage done to the back—

RS: NO!  Those powerful legs of Nattie’s…able to flip Melissa off of her!  Both women trying to scramble to their feet, but Melissa beats Nattie!  Melissa—

Francine: Hey!  Looking for a powerbomb here…OH!

RS: But this time it’s Nattie who counters with the backdrop!  Nattie tossing Melissa overhead—

Francine:  But look at her face!  That hurt her, Rosie!

RS: It sure did!  Melissa to her feet here…Nattie with a clothesline runs right through her!  Nattie…Melissa to her feet again—AND SHE’S MOWED DOWN AGAIN! Melissa…to her feet one more time…Nattie off the ropes here…

Francine: Look out—DAMN!!!!

RS: DISCUS CLOTHESLINE BY NATTIE!

Francine:  She took her head off!

RS:  Melissa is down…Nattie…the pain in that lower back…Nattie…Nattie going for the cover!  1…2…NO!!!!!  Melissa’s able to kickout!

Francine: And that’s lucky, Rosie!  I’ll admit it right here!  She is damn lucky she wasn’t knocked out by that move right there!

RS: The unbelievable force on that clothesline from Nattie!  And now she’s got Melissa again…looking for Nattie by Nature…no!

Francine: She can’t lift her!

RS: Too much pain in that lower back!  Melissa off the rope—YAKUZA KICK DROPS HER!!!  Nattie goes to a knee!  Melissa…to the corner she goes…Melissa’s headed up top here!

Francine: I can see it in her eyes, Rosie!  She’s going for the kill…OH!

RS: Oh, but Nattie caught her!  Nattie…what heart…no pun intended!  Nattie causing Melissa to straddle that top rope…and now she’s headed up top with Melissa!  Nattie…perhaps a superplex coming up here!

Francine:  I dunno how smart that is given that back of hers!

RS: Nattie’s up on that second rope with Melissa and she’s got her hooked!  Can she pull it off here?!  Super…NO!  Nattie tweaking that back!  Nattie…she’s not giving up, Francine!  Nattie with those clubbing forearms to the back as these fans cheer her on!  Nattie…

Francine:  Don’t tell me…don’t—OH!

RS: SHE GOT HER!!!  NATTIE JUST GOT HER WITH THE SUPERPLEX!

Francine:  But look at the damage she did to herself, Rosie!  Obviously, she inherited her father’s brains with that one!

RS: Nattie hurt that back with the landing…and that’s how bad she wants it, Rosie!  She’d put herself through pain to win this match!  To win the Championship Ring!  And now Nattie…Nattie’s back on her feet!  Nattie…

Francine:  What’s she gonna do?  Is she going for the cover?

RS:  Nattie looking into this capacity crowd…walking with a noticeable limp as she approaches Melissa…oh no!  She’s not going for the cover!  She’s gonna try for that Sharpshooter once again!  Nattie with the legs of Melissa…trying to step through, but Melissa’s blocking it!  Melissa—ONCE AGAIN!  Nattie booted right back into the turnbuckle this time!  Melissa…

Francine:  She’s got that move scouted well!

RS: Melissa’s on her feet and she charges in…looking for the monkey flip, but Nattie caught her!  Nattie…she just set her up on the top and now she’s got the legs…Nattie…trying to pull Melissa out of corner—

Francine: OH!!!!!!

RS: SITOUT POWERBOMB!!!!!!  Not the same impact she’s usually able to get with Nattie By Nature, but what a move!  Melissa’s head bouncing hard off the canvas, and now Nattie…Nattie’s going for it again!  Nattie’s looking for the Sharpshooter…this time Melissa is out of it…

Francine: She’s got it locked on, Rosie!  She’s got it locked—

RS: AND SHE TURNS HER OVER!!! Sharpshooter by Nattie!  Sharpshooter—

Francine:  Listen to this place!

RS:  What a win this would be for the Anvilette!  Nattie Neidhart…despite the damage done to her back on the outside, Nattie could pull this out—

Francine:  And a submission win puts her in the lead—

RS: Wait a minute!  Melissa—

RS: Look at Melissa!

Francine: Melissa’s reversing the hold…can you believe…HAHA!

RS: Melissa with the Sharpshooter applied to Nattie now!  Melissa…

Francine:  And with the damage done to that back, this could be it, Rosie!  This could be it!

RS:  Nattie…the look on her face says it all…

Francine:  And I think…she’s gonna tap here, Rosie!  She’s gonna tap!

RS:  Nattie trying to hold on…this crowd!

Francine:  More pressure, Melissa!  More pressure…ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?

RS: SHE KICKED OUT OF IT!!! NATTIE WITH THOSE POWERFUL LEGS WAS ABLE TO BREAK THE HOLD!

Francine:  But once again, the damage has been done to that lower back, Rosie!!! The damage has been done!

RS: Melissa going right back to work on that lower back of Nattie’s!  Melissa…with Nattie on her feet…

Francine:  DDT coming up—WAIT!!!

RS: Double leg takedown by Nattie!  Nattie with Melissa…

Francine: OH NO!!!!

RS: Slingshot into the buckle!!!  Melissa hit hard off the buckle and now…Nattie’s got her again!!! Nattie with the legs once again…she’s tying her up in the Sharpshooter!!! Nattie—WAIT!  Natasha’s in the ring—OH!!!!!! SHE JUST GOT FLOORED WITH A CLOTHESLINE!!!!!  Natasha back to the floor—

Francine:  Normally I’d say that was a stupid move, but we just saw last night with Desires just how costly these DQ’s can be!

RS:  Nattie disposing of Natasha Bryant and now she’s going for it once again…another Sharpshooter!  Nattie not only determined to put her away, but she is determined to come away with the 5 points—

Francine:  Look at this, Rosie!

RS: Nice counter by Melissa…putting Nattie facefirst on the canvas!! Melissa now…with the legs grapevine—

Francine:  We’ve seen this before, Rosie!

RS: And Nattie knows what’s coming up!  Nattie…trying to get away but Melissa with the arms!  Nattie…she’s all tied up…trying to fight it but—

Crowd: OOOOOOOOHHHHH!!!!!

RS: CURB STOMP!!!!!

Francine:  It’s over!!!!!!

RS:  It *is* over!!!  Nattie is down…Melissa looking down on her opponent…

Francine:  Don’t just stand there, Melissa!  Put her away!!! Put her away!

RS:  Melissa…oh…with the legs of Nattie—AND NOW SHE APPLIES THE ELEVATED CRAB!!!!  Nattie…earlier she was able to counter it, but now…

Francine:  That curb stomp took too much out of her, and now listen to her scream! 

RS:  Nattie…there you see Natasha on the outside!  Natasha rooting her partner on, as Nattie…Nattie once again refusing to say die!  Refusing to give in!

Francine:  She only needs a little more convincing…YEAH!!! LOOK AT THAT!!!!

RS:  Oh my goodness…Melissa now sitting back on the hold…all that torque…all that pressure on the back!!! A back that’s been repeatedly damaged throughout this match—MY GOD, NATTIE!!!  HOW MUCH CAN SHE TAKE???!!  HOW MUCH…

Francine:  I don’t think she can take much more…SHE TAPPED!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!! **Cue “Going Under”

Announcer: Here is your winner, by way of submission: CHEERLEADER MELISSA!!!!!!!

RS:  What a victory for Melissa!!!  Cheerleader Melissa with a stunning submission victory over Nattie Neidhart—

Francine:  And she’s just changed the game, Rosie!  With that submission victory, the Lost One just found her way into the top spot!  The 5 points push her up to 14, which means that unless one of the other girls manages to pull out a submission victory, there’s your winner!  There’s your new #1 contender!

RS: And that’s a mighty big “if” Francine!  Submissions not by any means easy to come by!  Melissa with a huge victory here tonight on CHIX, and that may be all she wrote for the Championship Ring!

(In the ring, Natasha Bryant raises Melissa’s hand while beneath them, Nattie Neidhart writhes in pain on the canvas.  Suddenly, cameras cut backstage, where we see Tina walking through the hallway. The crowd erupts upon seeing her on the UniversalTron.)

Francine: Uh oh, Rosie!

RS: It’s Tina!!!  The woman who in one week’s time has a date with none other than Diamond.  She’s the guest on this week’s Francine’s Forum!  Fans…keep it locked!  More CHIX when we return!!!

***Commercial hyping the Enygma/Ice Cube Universal Title Match at On Deadly Ground, live from Norfolk, VA, only on PPV***

CHIX FLIX!

ChampionCHIX (4/15/07)

 Diamond: Tina, you’ve been running your mouth, and I’m sick of it!  You want me?!  Well you got it!  Bring your ass out here right now!!!

***

(“Umbrella” abruptly stops as Tina hits the ring and Diamond immediately begins stomping her)

RS: Diamond all over Tina!  Diamond all over Tina…RAKE AT THE FACE HAS TINA IN TROUBLE!

Francine:  Look Rosie; she’s got that ring!

RS: Diamond with the wedding ring…Diamond preparing to attack—OH TINA!!! TINA WITH THE SPEAR!!! SHE IS ALL OVER DIAMOND!!! TINA IS ALL OVER DIAMOND AND LISTEN TO THIS CROWD!!!  THIS BUILDING HAS EXPLODED!

(We get shots of officials attempting to hold Tina and Diamond back before returning to Live Action, as “Deadly Candy” Alyssa Sanders is standing backstage in the interview area)

RS: Fans, welcome back to CHIX, and backstage, we have Alyssa Sanders!  Deadly Candy, and tonight, you do battle with Mercedes Martinez, who coming into the night was in the league!  But Alyssa, if you can hear me, I must ask how you’re feeling after what we just saw accomplished by Melissa!  A submission victory over Nattie Neidhart means that not only is she in first place, but in order for you to stay in this thing, you’ve got to gain a submission victory over Mercedes!  Do you think you’ll be able to do that?

Alyssa: Rosie, did you forget who the hell you’re talking to?!  I am Alyssa Sanders!  I am the biggest star in the history of the UWA women’s division!  The number one star in the world!  I’m half the reason that Women’s Title means as much as it does in the first place, and don’t you forget that, Rosie!

RS: Well I haven’t!  Your accomplishments here in the UWA have been unquestionable…but that alone won’t be enough to beat Mercedes Martinez!!! That won’t be enough to make her submit!

Alyssa: (chuckles) Yeah?!  You’re lucky I don’t come out there and make you submit, Rosie!  Look…DON’T QUESTION ME!  I am number one star for a reason!  That Championship belt has been out of my hands for too damn long, and I will stop at nothing—ABSOLUTELY NOTHING—when it comes to getting it back!  Mark my words, by hook or by crook, I will come out on top, and Sherry…(shudders) like it or not, your belt will belong to me!!!!

(Alyssa exhales deeply while shooting an evil glare into the camera.  Suddenly, cameras cut back to ringside where—

“Ella…Ella…Ella…Eh…Eh…Eh…”

  (The red spotlights flood the arena as “Umbrella” by Rihanna hits the PA system, bringing the crowd to its feet.  Tina’s entrance video then replaces the live video feed, giving us glimpses of  Tina, soaking wet, walking along the beach in front of a reddish sunset, clad in blue and a white dress shirt.  As the video continues, we flash to a nighttime view of the beach, as Tina, now silhouetted in the twilight, rips her dress shirt open, revealing a glowing red Superwoman “S” upon her chest, which suddenly explodes in a sea of sparks—

*BOOOOM*

Red sparks simultaneously shoot out from the entrance as we cut back to the live video feed, and the crowd begins to cheer as a white strobe kicks in and out to the beat of the music.  In a moment, the Superwoman herself emerges through a cloud of smoke, clad in black stretch leather leggings, black ankle-length boots, and a black leather jacket.  She whips her blood red hair free from its ponytail as she approaches the edge of the stage, and scours the reddened arena with a smile on her face as she opens her jacket to reveal a red shirt underneath with a black “S” emblazoned on the front.  And as the crowd continues to cheer, Tina beginning running her hands through her hair, ruffling it and tossing it back—

*BOOOOM…BOOOOM…BOOOOOM*

More red sparks fire down from the rafters as Tina thrusts her arms into the air.  When the pyro stops, Tina dons a pair of shades before starting down the ramp towards the ring, where Francine awaits with a mic.)

Francine: Ladies and gentlemen, my guest tonight on Francine’s Forum…she is the Superwoman: TIIIIIINNNNNAAAAAA!!!!!

(The screen rapidly flashes between Tina’s entrance video and the live feed as the Superwoman nears ringside, finally settling on a live shot once she slides into the ring.  The lights slowly return to normal as Tina takes in the crowd reaction, and as “Umbrella” begins to fade out, deafening chants of “SU-PER-WO-MAN” can be heard echoing throughout the arena.  A wide camera shot gives us a better glimpse of the ring, which is now covered in a violet carpet, at the center of which sits the “FF” logo.  Francine approaches Tina once the music dies down.)

Francine: Tina…welcome back to my Forum.  I guess right now you’re feeling pretty good.  Since returning to the UWA about a month ago, you’ve been dying to get your hands on Diamond, the woman who put you out of action late last year!  You’ve come out on this show and called her out, you’ve cost her matches, gone in a nationwide media tour, disrespecting the Queen of Extreme, and finally, this past week, Commissioner Laurer granted your wish!  You and Diamond square off one-on-one next Sunday night at On Deadly Ground!

(The crowd pops as Tina smirks.  In the crowd, a fan is holding up a sign that reads “Revenge of the Superwoman.”  In the ring, Francine continues.)

Francine:  Now these fans are happy, Tina!  I mean…let’s face it: these people love you!  There is nothing that these people want more than to see you get your hands on Diamond and rip her limb for limb at On Deadly Ground!  Isn’t that right?!  Wouldn’t you people love that?!  (Crowd pops once more)  Yeah…there’s a reason I use that word...love!  See Tina, these people aren’t thinking…they’re not using their brains, they’re blinded by emotion, by their devotion for you!  And Tina…I think you too are failing to think about the seriousness of this situation!  I mean…have you forgotten what happened the last time you and Diamond met in a one-on-one match, or do I need to remind you?  (points to the UniversalTron)

Apocalypse Now!  (12/17/06)

DD: OH MY GOD, VINCE!!! CAN YOU BELIEVE THIS?!?!?

VJ: DIAMOND WITH THE BLOOD DIAMOND APPLIED…THAT BARBED WIRE WRAPPED AROUND TINA’S THROAT—

DD: THIS IS SICK!!!

VJ: MY GOD, TINA!!! MY GOD—

Tina: Ok…ok, I get it!  Cut the video!

(The video abruptly stops, and the crowd boos in the background as we cut back to ringside, where Tina wears a somber expression on her face.)

Tina: (giggles) Y’know Francine…you’ve made your point!  You ask me not to forget what happened last December!  I saw FNS last night…Diamond’s asking me not to forget what happened last December!  Well lemme tell ya something Francine…Diamond…you can bet your asses that I HAVEN’T forgotten about what happened last December!  I haven’t forgotten Apocalypse Now!!!  I haven’t forgotten the feeling of that barbed wire digging deep into my throat!  I haven’t forgotten the months of pain…the months of rehabbing!  The numbness I still have in my pinky finger!  The tingling in my joints…heh!  Forget, Francine?!  Trust me, I’ll never forget! 

(Tina exhales deeply as she turns toward Francine, seemly dejected.)

Tina: Now…I think I see where you’re coming from though!  You’re thinking that I should think back to last December…you’re thinking that I should think back to all that pain and suffering and keep it in mind…because that’s just a sample of what I’m gonna get next Sunday when Diamond and I meet up at On Deadly Ground!  And y’know…you’re right!  (Crowd boos) No, fans!  She’s right! She’s absolutely right!  See, I was watching UWA TV while I was gone, and I’ve seen Diamond…she’s changed!  Diamond is meaner, she’s more vicious than ever!  And hey…as much as I’d love to get my hands on Diamond and make her feel every bit of the pain she put me through…she’d love…JUST LOVE to get me in that ring next week and put me out of wrestling once and for all!  And don’t think she’s not capable of doing it, folks!  I mean, that girl…whew…I mean…I’m still feeling the effects of what she did to at Apocalypse Now!!! Francine…maybe you’re right!  Maybe I did let my emotions get the better of me by demanding this match!  Maybe…maybe the smart thing to do would be for me to call my sister Joanie and have her call the match off! (Crowd boos)  Yeah…but why stop there, fans?!  Why not just give Diamond exactly what she wants?!  Why don’t I just head back to the locker room, pack my bags, and hop on the next plane back to Philly?!  That way nobody gets hurt...that way I don’t incur any additional damage, and that way this issue between me and Diamond will finally meet its end!  (giggles)  Is that what you think I should do, Francine?!  No-no-no-no...lemme ask the fans:  is that what you think I should do?! 

(The crowd boos loudly.  We focus on three young girls in the front row vehemently shaking their heads “No.”  In the ring, a devilish smile forms on Tina’s face.)

Tina: Well Francine...Di...or anybody else out there who’s thinking I’m just gonna give in that easily...I guess there’s just one thing for me to say...(tosses her hair) PUH-LEEEEEEEEEEASSE!!!!

(The crowd pops big in the background, and another “SU-PER-WO-MAN” chant fills the arena’s rafters.  In the ring, Tina removes her shades and shoots a fiery glare into the nearest handheld camera.)

Tina: Now Francine, like I said: I’ll never forget the events of last December!  Hell—I’m still feeling the effects of last December!  I remember all the trauma, the pain, the emotional anguish, and KNOW THIS: I don’t care what it takes! If it takes every bit of sweat, every drop of blood in my body!  Damn it, if it means I’ve gotta breathe my last breath right here in the middle of this ring, then you can bet that’s what I’ll do...but rest assured, Diamond...YOU’RE GONNA GET WHAT’S COMING TO YOU!!!  (crowd pops)  One way or another, I will have my revenge!

(Tina takes in a deep breath and smiles.  A dark, evil look settles in on her face as she looks to the camera once more.)

Tina: Now...Francine...since we’re talking memories of last December, I’m gonna flip the script a little bit, and I’m gonna turn that question back to you, Di.  How much do YOU remember what went down at Apocalypse Now?  How much do you remember the violence?!  The brutality?!  The hell that we put one another through?!  The blood you and I both spilled, Di?!  Can you remember that?!  Do you really remember?  Well remember that as much pain as I put you through then, Di...I was holding back!  Because as much as I hate you, Di, as much as I despise you, I knew that to hurt you would’ve meant hurting somebody I really care about...hurting someone I love!  But I don’t have that concern anymore Di!  That concerne died when you turned your back on Panther!  Now I there’s nothing to hold me back, nothing to stop me from finishing your ass once and for all at On Deadly Ground! (crowd pops)  Diamond...please think back! Remember all that I put you through at Apocalypse Now, and ask yourself this question: (cold tone) As bad as I hurt you THEN...what do you think I am going to do to you NOW?!

(Tina glares hard into the camera as “Umbrella” starts up yet again. The crowd pops as she puts her shades back on and climbs out of the ring.  Francine too leaves the ring as Tina heads back up the ramp towards the locker room.)

RS: Strong words from Tina, ladies and gentlemen, and I’ve gotta tell ya that in all the time that I’ve known her, I have never seen her that intense!  Never have I seen her so focused!  She is ready for Diamond, and as brutal as their last encounter was, what are we gonna see—WAIT A MINUTE!!!!!!

(Tina has just reached the stage and is preparing to head backstage when, suddenly, Diamond rushes from the locker room and drops her with a surprise forearm. The music stops abruptly as Diamond stands over the fallen Superwoman.)

RS: THAT’S DIAMOND!!! THAT’S DIAMOND...DIAMOND FROM THE BACK—

Francine: (returning to headset) Do you see this, Rosie!

RS: HELL YEAH I SEE IT!!!  DIAMOND WITH A CHEAPSHOT, AND NOW LOOK AT HER PUTTING THE BOOTS TO TINA!!  Diamond is all over her...we’ve got officials out here—

Francine: Look at this...

RS: Officials...trying to get Diamond outta here—OH NO!!!!  Diamond...she just shoved a portion of the set down onto Tina...alright now!

Francine: Well, Rosie, Tina said she wanted her, and she’s getting her right here!

RS: We certainly didn’t expect this, however!  Diamond...from outta nowhere...and damn it, she’s got that ring!  Diamond...once again with that wedding ring given to her by her estranged husband Panther...Tina...she’s already hurt...

Francine: And the pain has only just begun!  Oh Tina...

RS: No...Diamond...measuring Tina with that ring...OH C’MON!!!!!  Hard right hand right to the head...AND AGAIN!!!  DIAMOND...UNLOADING ON TINA’S FOREHEAD WITH THAT WEDDING RING!!! C’MON!!! C’MON—

Francine: AND NOW SHE’S BUSTED, ROSIE!!! SHE’S BEEN BUSTED!!! 

RS: DIAMOND REPEATEDLY HAMMERING HER WITH THAT RING...GET HER OUTTA HERE, DAMN IT!!!

(Officials finally succeed in pulling Diamond away from the lacerated Tina, and the crowd boos loudly as the fallen Superwoman lies bleeding on the stage.  We zoom in close on Diamond, who’s holding up her wedding ring, now stained with the blood of her hated rival. She flashes a twisted smile as she kisses the blood-stained diamond.  “Ring the Alarm” by Beyonce begins playing over the PA system as Diamond heads back to the locker room.)

RS: Oh man...as if this rivalry wasn’t personal enough already!  A vicious, cowardly assault perpetrated by Diamond—

Francine: Oh c’mon, Rosie—

RS: “C’mon” nothing, Francine!  Tina is hurt...she has been busted open...oh my goodness, what’s gonna happen next week at On Deadly Ground?!  What’s gonna happen when Tina finally gets her hands on the Queen of Extreme?!?! 

(We cut back to the medical area, where trainer is wrapping Darkest Desires’ injured elbow in medical tape.)

RS: Oh...fans, stay with us!  When more Championship Ring action when we return, as Darkest Desires does battle with none other than Shyanne!

**Commercial**

(When the break ends, we furious Tina storming through the locker room with officials and EMTs following behind her.)

RS: Welcome back to CHIX, and there you see Tina, the victim of a cowardly attack by Diamond before we went to break!  Tina was busted wide open, folks, and you can see she’s not happen!  Unfortunately for her, Diamond left the arena during the break!

Francine:  Unfortunately my ass, Rosie!  See, all Diamond did before the break was send a message to Tina!  That was just a little love tap, a reminder of what she can do, and a sample of what’s gonna happen at On Deadly Ground, because as we saw at Apocalypse Now, she’s capable of much worse!

(Cameras cut to another area of the locker room, where we see the Lost Ones watching on a monitor.)

RS: Well...back to Championship Ring action, and there you see our current leader...Cheerleader Melissa!  Earlier tonight she shocked us all with a submission victory over Nattie Neidhart, pushing her Championship Ring total up to 14! 

Francine: And as I said earlier, she changed the game! Now nothing short of a submission will be able to beat Melissa’s score!  Mercedes and Alyssa will both need those 5 points to win later on tonight!  And as for Darkest Desires, the best she can hope for is a tie!

Championship Ring: Shyanne vs. Darkest Desires

(“The Way You Like It” by Adema hits the PA system as a purple and greenish hue settles in over the darkened arena.  The crowd boos as Darkest Desires appears in the smoke-filled entranceway, her bullwhip gripped in her right hand and The Prowl, Huntress and Black Kat, following closely behind.  Desires shoots an evil glare into the crowd as she begins to crack her whip—

***BOOOM...BOOOOOM...BOOOOOOOOM!!!***

--pyro explodes from the ramp after each crack. The Black Blood trio then starts its way down the ramp.

Announcer: The following Championship Ring Match is Scheduled for one fall and has a 15-minute time limit.  Introducing first, hailing from Kansas City, MO, weighing in at 139 pounds, she is the leader of Black Blood and the Queen of Darkness...DARKEST DEEEEEESSSIIIIIRRRRES!!!

Francine: Still the greatest women’s wrestler in the UWA’s history!  Despite everything that’s gone down with her during this tournament!

RS: What the hell is The Prowl doing out here?!  We saw what they did on Friday Night by costing Mercedes...

Francine: Well, why shouldn’t they be out here?!

RS: I’m pretty sure I just gave a damn good reason, Francine!

Francine: Ok smart ass...hey wait!

RS: We’ve got officials out here confronting Black Blood...Desires...

Francine: NO WAIT!!!

RS: YEAH!!!  The Prowl’s being booted outta here!

Francine: How is that fair?!

RS: It’s damn fair if you ask me!  The Prowl being sent back to the locker room...things have been evened up for Shyanne!

(A furious Desires argues with referee Adam Matravers, but to no avail as The Prowl is ushered backstage.  Now seething, Desires enters the ring and removes her entrance gear, rubbing her taped arm as she paces back and forth.  Suddenly, “Girlfriend” by Avril Lavigne hits the PA system, and pink and white spotlights fill the arena as Shyanne rushes out onto the stage and leaps into a wide-legged stance.  She pumps her fist into the air and the crowd goes crazy!)

Announcer: Her opponent: hailing from Nashville, TN, weighing in tonight at 142 pounds...SHHHHHYYYYYAAAAAAAANNNNE!!!!!!

(The crowd cheers once more as Shy high fives fans on the way to the ring.)

RS: The ever-popular Shyanne!  2-time Universal Women’s Champion...

Francine: And a woman who has absolutely no chance of winning this Championship Ring, Rosie!  Which is why I can’t understand why The Prowl wasn’t allowed to stay out here!  I mean, not only that, but Desires needs a submission win!  What’s getting rid of The Prowl gonna do?!

RS: Well...valid point—

Francine: Please, Rosie!  Now you know I’m far from the biggest Black Blood fan, but this just reeks of conspiracy against Darkest Desires! 

(With Shyanne now in the ring, the music dies down and the lights return to normal.  Referee Matravers calls for the bell.)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

RS: And we’re underway with this one!  Another 15-minute time limit in this battle of two of the most prolific Women’s Champions we’ve had.  And Francine, as you stated, Shyanne is basically eliminated from the Championship Ring—nothing she does here will effect her chances of winning.  But Shyanne also has nothing to lose, which could prove dangerous for the Queen of Darkness—as they tie it up here!  Shyanne—THERE’S THE ARM WRINGER!!  Shy going after the injured arm—and Dark skirts away!

Francine: Rosie, how great is it that Melissa’s at the top of the heap here while Shyanne is at the bottom?!  How’s that for validation after all those years of bullying she and Natasha took?

RS: Please!  Desires being wary, but she can’t be too cautious here...she needs a submission to stay relevant in this thing, as now—SHE DIVES FOR THE ANKLE AND MISSES!!  Shy going for the arm again!  Shy...DARK ABLE TO ROLL THROUGH!  Desires...round kick—misses the mark!  Shy with a schoolgirl—

Francine: WAIT!

RS: 1...2...OH!  Shy almost got her!!  Shy...Desires to her feet—AND THERE’S AN ARMDRAG!!!  Desires once again—THERE’S ANOTHER!!!  And another...AND SHYANNE’S GOT THE ARM AGAIN!!! SHE’S GOT IT ONE MORE TIME—BUT DARK GETS TO THAT BOTTOM ROPE!!!  Desires...

Francine: I’ve gotta say, Shyanne’s doing what Desires should be—OOH!

RS: DID YOU HEAR THAT KICK!  And that two...two kicks to the calf by Desires sends Shy reeling!  Dark back on her feet—but she’s met with a right hand!  She fires back!  Desires and Shyanne...trading blows in the center of the ring—

Francine: Oh!

RS: Desires tried to duck one, but Shy...Shy able to fake her out—AND SHE’S GOT THE ARM AGAIN!!! BRINGING DESIRES TO THE MAT WITH A ROLLING TRIANGLE...the armbar now applied with Desires on the canvas, and listen to this crowd!! Desires may tap here—

Francine: She’s got this thing cinched up pretty good too!  Look at the look on Dark’s face!

RS: Desires...give her credit!  With that injured arm, who would blame her for tapping here?!  Oh...and look at this now!  Desires able to roll Shyanne onto her stomach...Desires...OH!

Francine: NICE ESCAPE!

RS: And right into the bow and arrow!  Dark in perfect position to apply the bow and arrow, and she does!

Francine: See what I was saying, Rosie?!  You’ve gotta give her her due!  She’s the best women’s wrestler in the world—

RS: Shyanne able to shift her weight...shoulders down—BUT DARK ABLE TO KICK OUT!  Desires...quickly to her feet, but watch Shyanne...off the ropes with the shoulderblock!  Into the ropes once again...coming off—THERE’S THE THESZ!!! Lou Thesz Press by Shyanne, and look at her hammer away with those right hands!  Shyanne is all over her!  Shyanne now...with Desires by the hair...

Francine: Oh no!

RS: Shyanne bringing Dark back to her feet—

Francine: She may be going for that Butterfly Suplex!

RS: Shy not wasting any time here! She’s got her hooked...Desir—OH!

Francine: Did you see that?!

RS: What a counter by Desires!  Able to spin free and blast Shyanne with the enzuiguri! Shyanne—

Francine: Look at her eyes!

RS: Shy’s really hurt here...as Desires now...OH MY!  Dark laying into her—THE DARK COMBINATION!!!!!  SHE JUST HIT THE DARK COMBINATION!!!  COVER...1...2...THR...SHE PULLED HER UP!!! DESIRES PULLED HER UP!

Francine: Remember: she needs a submission win or she’s gone! 

RS: Oh my what a predicament!  You can’t tell me Desires wouldn’t have had this one won here...as she locks in the triangle!  Triangle choke by Desires—

Francine: She could get her here anyway!

RS: Desires with this hold locked in tight, and now we have Shyanne perhaps preparing to tap...Shyanne...

Francine: Listen to her scream!  She won’t last long in this!

RS: This crowd here cheering her on as Desires...she’s got this cinched in good!  Shyanne’s trying to fight it though...trying to get those legs under her—

Francine: HEY WAIT—

RS: OH SHY!!! COUNTERS JACKKNIFE CRADLE FOR 1...2...THR—NO!!!  Dark barely able to kick out there!!! Shy almost stole this thing!

Francine: “Stole” is right!  Look at her!  She’s still feeling the effects!

(Cameras cut back to the Lost Ones’ dressing room, where Melissa is on the edge of her seat watching the match.)

RS: There you see another glimpse of our leader, Melissa.  She’s watching this one intently as back here at ringside, Shy tries to clear those cobwebs!

Francine: Watch Desires though...

RS: OH! Hard kick to the back of the knee!!! Desires nailed her—BUT SHY FIRES BACK WITH A RIGHT!!!  Desires is staggered...OH!  But she fires right back with another kick...AND THERE’S ANOTHER RIGHT FROM SHY! Desires with a knife edge!  Shy with another right!  Another!  Desires misses the roundhouse--

Francine: Oh my!

RS: SHE GOT DROPPED WITH THE RIPCORD CLOTHESLINE!!!!!  Both women are down!!!  Shyanne...perhaps able to turn the tide here...

Francine: She’s still loopy from that Dark Combination, though!

RS: These fans willing her on as Desires...trying to get to her feet!  This Championship Ring turning into, perhaps, a nightmare situation for her...as Shyanne!  Into the ropes she goes...SHE RUNS RIGHT INTO THE FLYING KNEE STRIKE FROM DESIRES!!!  Shy got nailed...Dark from behind—WITH THE GERMAN!!!  Big time German dumped her right on the back of her head...and...wow!

Francine: She’s not gonna give this thing up, Rosie!  She wants more than anything to prove to these people that she’s still the best in the world!

RS: She’s doing a good job here, as she’s got Shyanne now...oh my!  Just ripping into her with those kicks...repeated kicks right to the forehead of Shyanne!  Desires has her set up now...

Francine: Oh yeah!  Piledriver coming up!

RS: I think you may be right!  Desires...OH!!!!  SHE SPIKES HER WITH THE PILEDRIVER!!!! SHYANNE DROPPED RIGHT ONTO HER HEAD—AND SHE’S GOT IT APPLIED AGAIN!!! TRIANGLE CHOKE!!! 

Francine: And this is it, now!  No way she gets outta this, Rosie!

RS: Shyanne...say what you will, but what a gallant effort on her part!  Nothing to gain here...she loses absolutely nothing if she taps, but still, refusing to say die!

Francine: That’s the classic sign of a moron if you ask me, Rosie!

RS: Well I say it’s guts!  I say it’s determination!

Francine: Well I say she’s done!  She looks like she’s out in there!

RS: Shyanne’s body has gone limp, but this crowd is still making some noise.  Referee Matravers right there to check on her...the arm drops once!

Francine: Shut up you morons, it’s over!

RS: The arm dropped a second time!  Desires...a smile on her face mile wide!  The ref has the arm again...

Francine: This is it...NO!

RS: IT STAYS UP!!! IT STAYS UP!!

Francine: Damn it, Rosie!  She doesn’t know when to quit!

RS: There’s not an ounce of quit in her! Shyanne trying to fight this thing!  Trying to combat this thing!!  Shyanne...

Francine: Is she gonna power outta this thing?!

RS: That seems to be the case!  Shyanne...Desires still with the triangle applied and...OOOH THE STRENGTH!  Shy trying to hoist her up off the canvas—AND SHE’S GOT HER!!!  SHY’S GOT HER UP...

Francine: Oh my gosh...OH NO!!!!!

RS: OH!!! SHE DROPS HER HARD ACROSS THE TURNBUCKLE!!!  Almost a powerbomb Francine, and listen to this crowd!

Francine: I’d rather not!  The idiots!

RS: Desires...the look on her face says it all as Shyanne...to her feet!  Desires...whoa!  Charges in—clothesline misses!  Shyanne drives her in now...O’CONNOR ROLL!!!  THERE’S THE COUNT...2...3—NO!

Francine: SHE KICKED OUT!!!

RS: That she did!!!  Desires...scrambling back to her feet—SHE GETS MET WITH A DROPKICK!!!!  Desires...back up and she staggers into the corner...AND LOOK AT SHY NOW!!!  SHE CHARGING IN LIKE A WILDCAT!

Francine: She’s gone nuts, Rosie!

RS: Shyanne is all over Desires in the buckle!  There’s a big BEALE by Shy...Desires out to the center of the ring—OH!  DISCUS CLOTHESLINE SENDS HER TUMBLING TO THE FLOOR!!!  Darkest Desires—

Francine: How close are we to the time limit in this thing?!

RS: We’re getting close! Remember: a 15 minute time limit on these matches as Desires...that look on her face says it all, Francine!  She knows she’s in trouble—

Francine: Shut up, Rosie...OH!

RS: Baseball slide by Shyanne caught Desires on the jaw!  Shyanne...from the ring measuring Desires...

Francine: Look out Dark—

RS: OH!!! PESCADO CONNECTS BY SHYANNE!!! AND ONCE AGAIN, LOOK AT HER HAMMER AWAY UPON DARKEST DESIRES!!! SHYANNE HAS HER ON THE RUN!!! Shyanne—OH!

Francine: SHE’S BANGING HER HEAD AGAINST THE FLOOR!!! THAT’S UNCALLED FOR, ROSIE!!!

RS: Shyanne is all over Desires out there! She’s just working her over on the floor, as now Desires gets tossed back into the ring!  Desires...and now she’s out of it!

Francine: Yeah, you’re right, Rosie!  Those eyes don’t look good!

RS: And now Shyanne’s headed up top! 

Francine: She’s still the worse for wear herself!  She’d better be careful up there!

RS: Desires is on spaghetti legs, and now Shyanne...measuring her from the top—

Francine: Watch it Dark—OH!!!!!

RS: HIGH CROSSBODY CONNECTS!!! DESIRES IS HOOKED...2...THR—NO!!!!! ALMOST!!! ALMOST!!!

Francine: Ya know, you said it best, Rosie!  This is turning into a nightmare for Desires!

RS: Again, Desires needs the submission win to stay alive, but now it appears that she’ll be lucky if she can survive this match, as Shy now has the arm again!  Shy trying to lock in a Kimura here...Desires...able to force her way back to her feet here...Shyanne—OH MAN!!!

Francine: That was nasty!

RS: Kimura armdrag by Shyanne!  Desires...the hold still applied...

Francine: And you remember how hard it was for her to live down that tap out to Mercedes, Rosie!

RS: This would be the most costly tap out of them all for Desires!  Dark...

Francine: She’s trying to get to the ropes!!!

RS: The desperation in her eyes! Dark trying to get a leg...anything she can on those ropes!

Francine: She’s almost there—NO!

RS: Shy pulls her back to the center of the ring now!  Shyanne...hooking her up—

Francine: OH NO!!!!!

RS: THE BUTTERFLY!!!! BUTTERFLY SUPLEX CONNECTS!!! SHYANNE WITH THE COVER...1...2...3!!!! SHE GO—

Francine: NO!!! SHE KICKED OUT!!!!

RS: Shy...I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!!! SHY CAN’T BELIEVE IT!

Francine: That’s her coup de grace, and she couldn’t put her away!!!!  She couldn’t pin Desires!!!

RS: Oh Shyanne...back to the arm she goes—

Francine: Look at the look on her face! She can’t believe it!

RS: What a match we’re getting here on CHIX! Shyanne trying to get that Kimura reapplied here, but look at Desires trying to fight it!!  Desires...able to slip out to the floor now!  Shyanne still with hold of that arm, refusing to leg go—

*THUD*

RS: Oh god...oh my god, did you hear that?!

Francine: Shyanne tried keeping a hold of that arm as they rolled out to the floor there, and she got slung right into the post! 

RS: And her head hit that post hard, Francine!  Shyanne could be hurt bad!

Francine: All because of her stupidity!  I told ya, she had nothing to gain by stepping into this thing, Rosie!

RS: But she damn sure has given it her all tonight, and has given us a treat here on CHIX, as Desires...

Francine: She’s pissed!

RS: Absolutely!  Dark still favoring that arm as now she has Shy by the hair!  Bringing her to her feet...and sends her right into the post!  Headfirst...yet again!

Francine: Well...I always doubted Shyanne had brains, but after this one, I know she won’t Rosie! Look at Dark!

RS: She’s got Shyanne again...and again she sends her into the post...AND AGAIN!!!

Francine: This is getting brutal!

RS: Referee Matravers admonishing Desires from the ring...Shyanne...she appears to be hurt bad—OH GOD, NO!!! Desires with that dropkick...Shyanne’s head just sandwiched up against the post!!!

Francine: Ya know...as much fun as it may be to kick Shyanne’s ass out there, Dark needs to remember she’s got a time limit here!  And she needs to make Shy submit before we reach that 15 minute mark!  We’re getting kinda close here!

RS: Shyanne finally sent back into the ring as Desires...ugh!  That is pure evil, ladies and gentlemen!

Francine: To hell with that!  That’s pure focus!  That’s a true champion...AND THAT’S A SLEEPER!!!

RS: Sleeperhold applied to Shyanne...SHE BACKS DARK INTO THE BUCKLE FOR THE BREAK!!! 

Francine: She just won’t quit!!!

RS: Desires has it locked on again!  This time in the center of the ring!  Desires...Shy pulling her toward the corner—

Francine: HEY WAIT—OH!!!!

RS: SHE TRIED WALKING THOSE ROPES!!!  Shy tried to counter by pushing off the top rope!  Desires had it scouted!  Shy got dumped right on her head again, AND THERE’S ANOTHER SLEEPER BY DESIRES!!!

Francine: This is it here!  It’s gotta be!

RS: Shyanne...so much damage to the head within the last minute or so...still she refuses to say die!

Francine: Well who cares?! If she passes out here, that’s 5 points for Dark!

RS: Shyanne—OH WAIT A MINUTE!!! FORWARD ROLL...INTO A PINNING COMBINATION—SHE GOT HER!!!!!!

Francine: WHAT?!?!?

Ding Ding Ding!!! **Cue “Girlfriend”

Announcer: Here is your winner: SHYYYYAAAAAANNNNNE!!!!!!

Francine: WHAT THE HELL?!?!? 

RS: SHE DID IT!!! SHYANNE WITH A LAST DITCH COUNTER TO THAT SLEEPER, AND DESIRES IS ELIMINATED!!! THE 3-TIME FORMER WOMEN’S CHAMPION HAS BEEN OFFICIALLY ELIMINATED FROM THE CHAMPIONSHIP RING!!!!!

Francine: You’ve gotta be kidding me!  How can this be?! 

RS: Desires trying to tell referee Adam Matravers she got the shoulder up, but to no avail!  Shyanne has just pinned Darkest Desires!

(The cameras cut back to the Lost Ones’ locker room, where Melissa and Natasha Bryant look somewhat happy.)

RS: And once again, there you see our leader, Melissa, who, ironically thanks to her archrival Shyanne comes one step closer being named the number one contender!

Francine: And now it’s all down to Alyssa and Mercedes next!  If neither of those women get a submission, then Melissa’s got her title shot at the pay-per-view!

RS: What a storybook moment this could be for her!  Fans, please stay with us!  When we return from break, it’s the final match in the Championship Ring: Mercedes Martinez vs. “Deadly Candy” Alyssa Sanders!  Don’t you dare go away folks!

***Commercial***

CHIX FLIX!

On Deadly Ground 2006

VJ: It’s a Triple Threat Match to determine the winner of the first-ever Women’s Championship Ring!  “Deadly Candy” Alyssa Sanders doing battle with Mercedes Martinez and Tina...the winner goes on to meet Darkest Desires later on tonight!

***

VJ: Alyssa looking for the Cough Drop on Mercedes—OH!!!!

DD: Oh no!

VJ: SHE DAMN NEAR GOT HER HEAD TAKEN OFF BY TINA!!!

***

DD: LOOK OUT!

VJ: TINA...PRESS SLAM SENDS ALYSSA OVER THE TOP!

***

VJ and DD: OH MY GOD!!!

VJ: MERCEDES WITH A SUPER FISHERMAN’S BUSTER TO TINA!! THERE’S THE COVER...2...SHE GOT HER!!! MERCEDES MARTINEZ HAS WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP RING!!!

(When the video ends, we cut to footage from 4/10 edition of In High Gear, where an injured Sherry Bop is being looked after by Mercedes Martinez in the locker room.)

RS: It was nearly 2 weeks ago when Sherry Bop, the Universal Women’s Champion, was found laid out in the dressing room area!  She was shaken up pretty badly in an assault that we now know was perpetrated by the returning Pandora!

(We get cut to later footage of her stalking Sherry with a metal baseball bat.)

RS: The Original S.I.N. representative returned to the UWA after about a year out of action!

Francine: Yeah, and she was as wild as ever!

(We flash to footage of Pandora and Sherry battling on the 4/13 episode of FNS.)

RS: But Sherry wanted revenge, and would get her first opportunity in a mixed tag match, as she teamed with Ice Cube to face Pandora and Feltcher!

Francine: But unfortunately for her, Ice Cube’s war with Black Blood reared its ugly head, and before you know it, poor little Sherry was left all alone!

RS: And with the deck stacked against her, Sherry Bop found herself pinned by the psychotic Pandora!

(Footage from the 4/15 episode of ChampionCHIX.)

RS: Then, last week at ChampionCHIX, Sherry would put the title on the line in a one-on-one contest! 

Francine: And while she did put up a good fight, she wasn’t able to overcome Pandora!

RS: There you see—THE DOUBLE BITCH HEADACHE ON THE FLOOR!  Sherry Bop’s revenge would be held off to another day, for on this night, she was counted out!

(Finally, Sherry’s and Pandora’s images appear superimposed upon the CHIX opening video as the “Come Get It” instrumental plays in the background.)

RS: Well in two weeks time, Sherry will get her chance for revenge!  Whether she has the Championship or not after On Deadly Ground, she will appear here on this very program to take on Pandora!  And that match, Francine, will be a Death Match!  The first ever here on CHIX!

Francine: And I can’t wait for that one, Rosie!  Who could forget that classic Death Match between Pandora and Tina a couple of years ago at Total Annihilation?!

RS: One of the greatest women’s matches of all time, not to mention Tina’s war with Darkest Desires at last year’s Total Annihilation!

Francine: Two of the most brutal matches you’ll find, which begs the question of Sherry Bop’s toughness, Rosie!  For years the big complaint about Sherry has been that she’s just too nice—that she doesn’t have the killer instinct to make it in the UWA!  Well, to her credit, she’s made it this far and she’s at the top of the heap here in the Women’s Division...but does she have the toughness to survive a Death Match someone as crazy as Pandora?!

RS: We’ll find out in two week!  Right now...it’s time to close out the 2007 Championship Ring! 

Championship Ring: Mercedes Martinez vs. “Deadly Candy” Alyssa Sanders

 (As the electric guitar and pulsating drums of Good Charlotte’s “Dance Floor Anthem” hit the PA system, the house lights fade to black while pink, purple and blue spotlights begin roaming the crowd.  An impressive stream of purple and blue tinted sparks flare up from the stage. When they die down, Alyssa Sanders comes into view, her back facing the camera.  She’s wearing a long sleeveless robe—powder blue with pink trim—with her “Deadly Candy” emblem on the back. Her strawberry blond hair is pulled back in a ponytail. She turns to face the crowd, her haughty glare piercing through her designer sunglasses as she looks down upon the howling sea of humanity.  She smugly thrusts her arms into the air as she begins her path to the ring.)

Announcer: The final contest of the 2007 Women’s Championship Ring is scheduled for one fall and has a 15-minute time limit. Introducing first: from Boston, MA, weighing in tonight at 103 pounds...“DEADLY CANDY” ALYSSA SAAAANDERRRSSS!!!

(The crowd boos at the mention of her name, but Alyssa remains unfazed by their rudeness. She smugly gazes into the camera as she climbs the ring stairs.  She then twirls out to the center of apron, where she leans back against the ropes in an enticing pose—her right knee raised invitingly while the spotlights highlight her sensuous frame.  Normally one to delight in taunting the hopeless males in the audience, tonight Alyssa’s expression reflects a far more serious attitude.)

RS: It’s been nearly three years since the Universal Women’s Title has been in the possession of Alyssa Sanders!  In that time, she has come close to regaining it on many an occasion!  As we saw, last year she finished the inaugural Championship Ring in a 3-way tie with Tina and Mercedes Martinez!  Mercedes would go on to win the tiebreaking match to earn the automatic title shot, but she did so by pinning Tina, not Deadly Candy!

Francine: Yeah, and let’s not forget that leg injury Alyssa suffered last year!  She went down just days prior to receiving a title shot against Darkest Desires!  Just days before she got the opportunity to prove that she was the true dominant female!  And who was it that took that title opportunity?  Mercedes Martinez!  She’s been a thorn in her side for too long, Rosie!

RS: And tonight will be no different, for again, in order for her to get back in the title picture, in order for her to walk away the winner of the 2007 Championship Ring, she must make the Latin Mercenary submit, something that to my knowledge NO ONE has done here in the UWA! 

Francine: But Mercedes is in the same predicament, Rosie!  And I’ll take nothing away from her; everyone knows Mercedes is a submission specialist!  But regaining that Championship has been on Alyssa’s mind for too long—for the past nine months and even longer!  I think Mercedes will have to kill her before she submits!

RS: It’s the irresistible force and the immovable object: which one is gonna give?!?!

(Now in the ring, Alyssa hands her robe and sunglasses to a ringside attendant when her music comes to an abrupt halt!  Red and orange spotlights begin kicking in and out to the beat of Mercedes Martinez’ reggaeton-inspired theme music!  The crowd comes to its feet as flames shoot up from the stage, and their cheers become deafening as the Latin Mercenary herself emerges from the locker room. She cracks her knuckles as she levels her fiery in Alyssa’s direction.  Then she starts down the ramp to the ring.)

Announcer: Her opponent: she hails from the South Bronx, weighing in at 150 pounds, she is the Latin Mercenary and the winner of the 2006 Women’s Championship Ring: MERRRCEDEEEESSS MARRRRTINNEEEEZZZZZ!!!!!

 RS: WHAT AN OVATION FOR THE LATIN MERCENARY!!!!  The two time co-holder of the Women’s Tag Team Titles, and Francine, she is just a submission away from being in the ring opposite her best friend and longtime partner Sherry Bop! 

(Cameras once again cut back to the Lost Ones’ dressing room, where Cheerleader Melissa is pacing back and forth.)

RS: There you see once again the current leader of the Championship Ring, Cheerleader Melissa!  She scored the upset submission victory over Nattie Neidhart in our opening contest here tonight, forcing the situation we have on our hands now!  In order to walk away here tonight with the Championship Shot at On Deadly Ground, both Mercedes and Deadly Candy need a submission victory!

(Back at ringside, Mercedes is now in the ring, going face to face with an equally determined Deadly Candy.  Referee Stephanie Jenkins tries to get between the two as the lights return to normal.  Suddenly—

*SLAP*

--Alyssa slaps Mercedes hard across the face—

*WHAM*

--ONLY TO GET FLOORED BY A RIGHT HAND FROM THE LATIN MERCENARY!)

Ding Ding Ding!!!

RS: OH!  The bell has sounded!!!  Alyssa got her bell rung by that right hand...and she catches another from the Latin Mercenary!  Another sends her into the ropes!  Mercedes has Alyssa here...Irish whip sends her in!  Mercedes misses the clothesline...Alyssa with the sleeper...Alyssa’s on her back with the sleeper!!! 

Francine: I’ve gotta hand it to Mercedes!  103 pounds is small, but that’s still a lotta weight to carr—EEEE!!!! 

RS:  OH!!! OVER THE TOP GOES DEADLY CANDY!!!! MERCEDES FLIPPING HER HARD RIGHT DOWN TO THE CONCRETE!!!!  And now Mercedes...

(The crowd begins to cheer as Mercedes reaches into her pocket to retrieve her black leather gloves, and with a look intensity in her eyes, she begins to put them on.)

Francine: Oh hell...

RS: Mercedes has those working gloves, Francine!  I think it’s about time to go to work!

Francine: Damn it, Alyssa, you might wanna get outta here!!! Get out...OH!

RS: Mercedes to the outside, AND THERE’S ANOTHER HARD RIGHT HAND TO DEADLY CANDY!!! AND ANOTHER!!!!  Irish whip—COUNTERED BY THE BASEBALL SLIDE!  Alyssa...right back at Mercedes—OH! The Huracanrana is blocked...

*THUD*

Francine: OH NO!

RS: POWERBOMB!!! MERCEDES JUST PLANTED ALYSSA WITH A POWERBOMB ON THE FLOOR!!! 

Francine: I can’t even hear a word you’re saying!  Listen to these idiots!

(Mercedes pauses to soak in the crowd’s cheers.  She takes a moment to point out the “REPEAT: Latin Mercenary” sign in the crowd before reaching down and grabbing the groggy Alyssa by the hair.)

RS: Mercedes with Alyssa now, and it may be academic before this thing really even gets started!  Mercedes...rolling her into the ring!  She follows her in—

Francine: How smart is Alyssa?!

RS: Alyssa just rolled out the other side!  Obviously still feeling the effects of that powerbomb as Mercedes...right back out after her.  Mercedes now...with Alyssa once again, and she rolls her back in!  Alyssa...Alyssa trying to get away again—but look at Mercedes here!  Mercedes on her tail—

(Mercedes catches Alyssa by the back of trunks just before she’s able to scoot under the bottom rope.  Hoots and howls come up from the UWA faithful as Mercedes begins to pull at the tights, dragging her back into the ring yet in the process giving the male fanbase a special treat.)

Francine: Well our ratings just went up a quarter or two!

RS:  We’ve got a full moon over B-More...how fitting when Mercedes is all over Alyssa like a rabid wolf!!!  Mercedes now with the double chicken wing...lifting Alyssa back to her feet—AND STERNUM FIRST INTO THE BUCKLE SHE GOES!!!  Alyssa now...being set up on the top rope!  Could be a belly-to-back superplex coming up here...

Francine: Fight it Alyssa...OH!

RS: She’s trying, but the Latin Mercenary appears to be to much for her!  Mercedes headed up behind her...she’s got her hooked...

Francine: OH NO!!! OH NO!!!

RS: SHE HIT IT!!! BELLY-TO-BACK SUPERPLEX!!!

Francine: And after that powerbomb on the floor, that may be it!  Alyssa could be done!

RS: Mercedes Martinez may be moments away from the repeat here!!!  Deadly Candy is down!  She may be down and out!

Francine: But Mercedes has to go for that submission!  I mean...unlike Alyssa, she has the option of going for the pin, but at best that’ll only allow her to tie with Cheerleader Melissa!  If she wants it all, if she wants a guaranteed title shot at Sherry Bop at On Deadly Ground, she has gotta make Deadly Candy submit!

RS: And she is more than capable of doing it!  Mercedes with Alyssa...OH!  Oh my—she’s got her in a stump puller!  Old school stump puller...applying pressure to both the neck and hamstring of Alyssa...ALYSSA ABLE TO SLIP FREE AND BOOT HER AWAY!  Mercedes right back—ALYSSA WITH A TAKEDOWN!! Modified drop toehold, into the rear mount, and look at her just grinding Mercedes’ face into the mat!  Just grinding her face...

Francine: Heh...that’s an improvement from where I stand!

RS: Alyssa...trying to get her wits about her—OOH! Low dropkick, right to the face of Martinez!  Mercedes...back up onto her knees—and she catches a big boot right to the face!!!  And another...

*SLAP*

RS: AND ANOTHER HARD SLAP TO THE FACE OF MERCEDES!!! 

Francine: Man!

RS: Alyssa...I can’t believe she had the gall to—

*SLAP*

Francine: SHE DID IT AGAIN!!!!

RS: Alyssa...LOOK AT THE FACE OF MERCEDES!!!  THIS MAY NOT BODE WELL FOR DEADLY CANDY!!!

(Still on her knees, Mercedes trembles with rage as Alyssa stands before her, her face awash with pride. Alyssa rears back for another slap...)

RS: OH MERCEDES...MERCEDES ABLE TO BLOCK THAT SLAP, AND SHE DRILLS HER WITH A SPINEBUSTER!!!!  A BIG SPINEBUSTER BY THE LATIN MERCENARY, AND LOOK INTO THOSE EYES, FRANCINE!

Francine: I’m looking, and this doesn’t look good for Alyssa, I’m afraid to say!

RS: Alyssa...perhaps getting a little too full of herself, and Mercedes is gonna make her pay for it!  Mercedes now from behind...with Alyssa in a seated position, AND NOW THE CROSSFACES!!!  MERCEDES...THOSE VICIOUS CROSSFACE FOREARMS!!!

Francine: Oh god!  I’m afraid to look at this Rosie...OH NO!

RS: MERCEDES YANKING HER AROUND BY THE HAIR...JUST WHIPPING THAT NECK BACK AND FORTH, AND...OH!! JUST DRAGGING HER NOW---

Francine: THIS IS NOT FAIR, DAMN IT!!! YOU KNOW THAT’S NOT LEGAL, ROSIE!

RS: Mercedes just punishing Deadly Candy, and now...oh please!!! Alyssa on her knees trying to beg off!!!  Gone is the smugness!!!  Perhaps gone is the determination as Mercedes now...she connects with the boot of her own!  Alyssa back to her feet...OH WAIT A MINUTE!!!! LEVERAGE MOVE BY ALYSSA JUST SENT MERCEDES HEADFIRST INTO THE REFEREE!!!  Referee Jenkins is down, and now look at Alyssa!!! Alyssa now unraveling the tape from around her wrist!

Francine: I’m sure she’s doing that to improve her circulation, Rosie!

RS: Oh yeah right!  Mercedes got her bell rung when she cracked heads with Referee Jenkins!  She’s trying to shake the cobwebs now, but look at Alyssa here...she’s got that long strand of trainer’s tape!  Mercedes...Mercedes doesn’t even see her...AND NOW ALYSSA MOUNTING THE BACK AGAIN!!!  ALYSSA...SHE’S GOT THAT TAPE WRAPPED AROUND THE THROAT OF MERCEDES...BUT MERCEDES ABLE TO FLIP HER OFF AGAIN!!!  Mercedes tossing Alyssa overhead...

Francine: She’s still feeling the effects though—

RS: AND WATCH ALYSSA!!! RIGHT BACK TO HER FEET AND DIVING ON MERCEDES’ BACK YET AGAIN!!  ALYSSA...ONCE AGAIN TRYING TO CHOKE OUT THE LATIN MERCENARY AS MERCEDES...MERCEDES DROPS TO A KNEE!!!

Francine: HAHA!  What I tell ya, Rosie!!! I knew she’d find a way!!!  I knew she wouldn’t be denied!

RS: Deadly Candy...this is shades of what we saw between she and Tina a couple of years ago, as now Mercedes begins to slump to the canvas!  Alyssa...that tape still wrapped around the throat of Mercedes, AND NOW SHE’S MASKING IT WITH THE SWEET DREAMS!!!

Francine: HAHA!  It’s like she said: she’s the number one female for a reason, Rosie!

RS: Yeah, for cheap ass moves like this, as now Stephanie Jenkins begins to come to...oh my god!  Mercedes is down and she is not moving!

Francine: And this counts as a submission, Rosie!  All she needs now is for that arm to drop 3 times, and that’s 5 points for Alyssa! 

RS: Oh I pray that doesn’t happen!  I pray that Mercedes...if there’s any bit of life left in her...Stephanie Jenkins now checking on Mercedes!  She’s got the arm...

Francine: IT DROPS ONCE!

RS: She raises it again...IT DROPS AGAIN!

Francine: HAHA!  This is it, Rosie!  Are you ready??!!

RS: NO!!! STEPHANIE’S GOT THE ARM ONE MORE TIME...C’MON DAMN IT!!! C’MON...NO!!!

(Referee Jenkins has JUST released Mercedes’ arm when, suddenly, SHERRY BOP hits the ring and drags her away!  The crowd cheers wildly.)

Francine: WHAT THE HELL IS SHE DOING OUT HERE?!?!?

RS: IT’S SHERRY!!!  SHERRY BOP IS OUT HERE TO TRY AND PREVENT THIS INJUSTICE!!

Francine: She has no business being out here, and you know it Rosie!

RS: Sherry...I think she just told Referee Jenkins about the use of the tape, and Steph’s making her break the hold!!  Steph’s making her break the hold! 

Francine: Unbelievable!  Just unbelievable!!!

RS:  Sherry and Alyssa going face to face now!  Lots of bad blood between these two already as Alyssa...RIGHT HAND MISSES!!! Sherry—CONNECTS WITH THE SHERRY KICK!!!  SHE CONNECTS WITH THE SHERRY KICK TO DEADLY CANDY!!!

Francine: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?!?  IS SHE GONNA LET HER GET AWAY WITH THIS?!?!?

RS: Well, what do you want her to do, Francine?  Disqualify her?  Alyssa Sanders has just been laid out by the Sherry Kick, both she and Mercedes are down, and now listen to this crowd!!!  Sherry Bop, the Universal Women’s Champion right over here by us, trying to rally these fans here in Baltimore!

Francine: I hate her so much, and I hate you for this bias commentary!  If Alyssa had pulled a stunt like that, you’d be calling for her head, Rosie!

RS: Well I say she got what she deserved!  She just tried to steal this thing, thank god that Sherry was here, as now both Alyssa and Mercedes try to clear the cobwebs in the ring!  Both women trying to pull themselves to their feet...

Francine: It might not even matter, Rosie!  The interference may not even matter, because Alyssa’s still got the strength—NO!!!! 

RS: CLOTHESLINE BY MERCEDES!!!  Alyssa is down...back to her feet yet again—AND SHE’S FLOORED WITH ANOTHER ONE!!!  Alyssa...she gets floored again, and look at Mercedes!!! She’s feeling it again!!! She’s feeling it again!

Francine: Aww...damn it, damn it, DAMN IT!!!

RS: Mercedes with an Irish whip...she follows her into the buckle—BUT ALYSSA...Alyssa went for the tip up and got caught!!!  Mercedes catching the legs of Deadly Candy—AND SHE SNAPS HER TO THE MAT WITH THE WHIPLASH!!!!  Alyssa...

Francine: Right on the back of that neck again!!!

RS: Alyssa trying to shake the effects...trying to fight back to her feet—BUT MERCEDES CATCHES HER WITH THE SWINGING NECKBREAKER!!!  Alyssa’s down again!  Cover...1...2—NO!!!  Mercedes not settling for the pinfall!  Mercedes is gonna go for the submission!

Francine: I can’t believe this, Rosie!  Oh!

RS: Leg drop onto the extended arm of Deadly Candy!  Mercedes...she’s got Alyssa again!  Bringing her back to her feet, and now the arm wringing—

*CRACK*

RS: HARD chop to the chest!  Mercedes now...converts it into a hammerlock now! Mercedes...floats back around and—OH!!! HAMMERLOCK SUPLEX!!!  A Northern Lights Suplex with the hammerlock applied, and Deadly Candy’s expression speaks volumes!

Francine: And look at that damn Sherry Bop!  I hope if Mercedes wins this, you get the same treatment, plus more!  I hate her so much, Rosie! 

RS: Mercedes now looking for the cross armbreaker here, but check out the ring awareness of Alyssa!  She’s able to make her away to the ropes!  Mercedes...OH!  There’s a hard kick to the lower back...another!

Francine: OK, back her up, Jenkins!  She’s in the ropes! 

 RS: Referee Jenkins trying to do just that as Mercedes...whew!  What a night this has been! 

Francine: And it’s not over yet!  C’mon Alyssa...

RS: Deadly Candy back to her feet—AND A THUMB TO THE EYE OF MERCEDES!!!  Mercedes sent reeling—AND THERE’S THE COUGH DROP!!!  ALYSSA FROM BEHIND WITH A COUGH DROP OUTTA NOWHERE!!! Mercedes is down...Alyssa with the arm—

Francine: OH YES!!!! OH YES, ROSIE!!!

RS: ALYSSA WITH A CROSS ARMBREAKER OF HER OWN!!! SHE’S GOT IT LOCKED IN ON MERCEDES...FULL EXTENSION!!!

Francine: And how about that, Rosie?!  No one’s ever submitted Mercedes Martinez, but what if Alyssa does it WITH HER OWN MOVE?!  How great would that be?!

RS: It’d be impressive indeed, but Mercedes is trying to hold on!  Mercedes...she’s so tough, Francine!  Mercedes trying to withstand the pain of this crossarmbreaker, and now she’s trying to turn it around, it looks like!  Mercedes...turning Alyssa over onto her stomach!!!  Alyssa...the hold still applied as Mercedes—OH!  She escaped!  Mercedes able to escape—AND SHE APPLIES ONE OF HER OWN NOW!!!!

Francine: OH NO!!!

RS: SHE’S GOT IT APPLIED!!! THIS IS HER BREAD AND BUTTER, FRANCINE!!! THIS—

Francine: IT’S THE PROWL!!!

RS: WHAT?!  Huntress and Black Kat are back out here at ringside!!!  Huntress and Black Kat—hey wait a minute...THEY’VE GOT SHERRY!!!

Francine: HAHA!

RS: The Prowl’s got Sherry!!  We’ve got 2-on-1 against Sherry Bop, as now Mercedes...Mercedes just released the hold, and now she’s come to the aid of her friend on the arena floor!

Francine: What a moron, Rosie!  She may have had this thing won! 

RS: Both Mercedes and Referee Jenkins out here trying to keep the Prowl at bay!!!  Stephanie trying to keep this situation under control as—Alyssa now...to the outside—and she attacks from behind!!!  Alyssa attacking Mercedes—

Francine: It’s crazy out here!

RS: Indeed it is, as now once again we’ve got the Prowl attacking the Women’s Champion!  Meanwhile, Alyssa has sent Mercedes back into the ring...she rakes the bootlaces right across the face!  She’s got Mercedes now...perhaps another Cough Drop—

Francine: OH NO!!!!

RS: SHE GOT SLUNG HARD INTO THE BUCKLE BY MERCEDES!!!  ALYSSA IS HURT!!! ALYSSA IS HURT—AND NOW MERCEDES HAS HER HOOKED!! MERCEDES...

Francine: NO!!! NOOOOOO!!!!

RS: THE FISHERMAN’S BUSTER!!! SHE HIT IT—

Francine: DESIRES!!!

RS: WHAT?!

Francine: DESIRES IS IN THE RING—

*WHAM*

RS: OH!!! DESIRES FROM OUTTA NOWHERE WITH THAT ROUNDHOUSE KICK!!!  Desires...DARK COMBINATION ON MERCEDES!!!  The Dark Combination...Mercedes is down—

Francine: Can you believe this?!

RS: Referee Jenkins is out here trying to get the Prowl under control!!!  She missed the whole damn thing, and now Desires...oh!  She just pulled Alyssa on top of Mercedes!  Desires draped Alyssa over the fallen Mercedes, and now she’s getting outta dodge!  Desires...the Prowl now pointing Stephanie back to the ring—

Francine: I can’t believe this!

RS: Stephanie...Steph back in for the count...there’s 2...THERE’S 3!!!!!

Ding Ding Ding!!! **Cue “Dance Floor Anthem”

Announcer: Here is your winner, via pinfall... “DEADLY CANDY” ALYSSAAAA SAAANDEERRRSSS!!!

RS:  Deadly Candy has won this thing via pinfall, thanks to Darkest Desires and Black Blood!!!  Desires has just stuck it to Mercedes Martinez in what was obviously a well orchestrated screwjob!

Francine: And do you realize what just happened?! Alyssa won, but only by pinfall!  That means she only gets 3 points!!! THAT MEANS MELISSA HAS JUST WON THE CHAMPIONSHIP RING!!! MELISSA WILL GET THE TITLE SHOT AT ON DEADLY GROUND!!!

(Indeed. Cameras cut back to the Lost One’s locker room, where Natasha Bryant and Cheerleader Melissa are all smiles.)

RS:  You are absolutely right!  Cheerleader Melissa...take nothing away from her effort!  She has won the 2007 Women’s Championship Ring!  What a feather in the cap of her young career!  Again, a breakout performance throughout this Championship Ring, as now she has a date with Sherry Bop at the PPV!  Meanwhile, here in the ring we have Alyssa, she’s starting to come to after being hit with that Fisherman’s Buster!  She was knocked absolutely goofy at the end of the match, and I think, Francine, that she may have just realized what happened!!!  I think she just realized that she may have won, but not the way she had hoped, and she is absolutely pissed!  Alyssa is pissed off!

Francine: And I don’t blame her!  I don’t blame her one bit!

RS: All sorts of controversy in this one!  Who knows what the fallout from this will be!

(Alyssa storms out of the ring and heads back up the ramp toward the locker room.  Meanwhile, we see Sherry Bop looking after the unconscious Mercedes Martinez in the ring.)

RS: Once again, there you see another look at the Universal Women’s Champion! Sherry Bop...Mercedes Martinez has yet to regain consciousness, and again, we now know what’s in store for Sherry next week at On Deadly Ground!  It’ll be Sherry Bop against the winner of the 2007 Championship Ring, Cheerleader Melissa!  Can the Lost One complete this breakout performance by coming away with the PPV with the Division’s top prize?!  Will Sherry Bop be able to survive?!

(We get one last look at the Lost Ones celebrating in their locker room before the screen fades to black.)

© 2007 UWA Productions, Inc.